Sunday, February 7, 2010

More Bible Verses For Tim Tebow

This will be a regular feature of Tongue Of The Dumb. These are real verses from the Bible, Revised Standard Version, Second Edition. Tim Tebow, as you may know, is a devout young man who writes references to Bible verses on the eyeblack stickers he wears during football games. He is now moving on from college to the National Football League, which means he will rarely play and therefore not be seen as often. I will thus help him spread the word, beginning with this entry regarding the male discharge.

“The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Say to the people of Israel, When any man has a discharge from his body, his discharge is unclean. And this is the law of his uncleanness for a discharge; whether his body runs with his discharge, or his body is stopped from discharge, it is uncleanness in him. Every bed on which he who has the discharge lies shall be unclean; and everything on which he sits shall be unclean.’”

I know Tim is a virgin and proud of it. I am also proud that Tim is a virgin. For some reason. And we are proud of how humble we are, and freely admit that we are virgins, except for me.

I wanted to publicize this verse to emphasize how disgusting sex is, especially the "discharge" part, which gets all over.

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About Me

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I am the Ken doll you left outside in 1983. I have been living on cat food and squirrels, coming out mostly at night, unable to wash or even change my clothes because they are permanently sewn on. I ask you, would a merciful God allow this? I just wish I could wipe this stupid grin off my idiot face.