Sunday, March 6, 2011

Finding Jack Chick In My Closet

Friends, providence has smiled on me this week.

While cleaning out my closet yesterday, I ran across a page torn from one of Jack Chick's old tracts, handed to me by a stranger on a college campus back in 1984. 
I would have dropped to my knees right there to pray if a closet was in any way appropriate for prayer. I don't have to look it up to know Jesus would never sanction such a thing! Anyway, as I said, I was overjoyed.  Why?  Because he was warning us about gay marriage, all the way back in 1984!

So I immediately came out of the closet went back out to my study to pray.  Because I knew it to be a sign from God--a sign that our world is again in mortal danger, and He again has us squarely in His sight.
Back in 1984, I thought the world would end soon.  I publicly predicted the End of Days were upon us. Well, I certainly learned my lesson!  Now, I know the Truth--it will happen next year.  Unless we change our ways, and fast.  Remember those hurricanes and earthquakes that rocked the world in recent years?  God is preparing more!  We must not only repent our own sins, we must cast the sinful from our midst.  Only if we clean our own house, and not just the closet, will we be spared.
It's like President Batman Bush said, we have to rid the world of evil-doers.  And we must start with those fornicating abominations, the so-called "Gays."
By flaunting their disregard for everything that is good and holy, they are bringing Divine Punishment upon us all.  Because God sees all, and knows every thought of every person, He knows who the guilty are!  He knows who to blame, He knows who is innocent! And He doesn't care! He'll kill us all!
We cannot let gay marriage become a reality.  It will destroy the institution of marriage for all of us.  They would like us to believe that what they do is normal and natural--but who are we to decide what is normal?
Just imagine what those homosexuals are doing in their bedrooms!  Just imagine it!  Picture it in your mind!  Caressing each other, tenderly stroking one another with their long, supple fingers!  The soft, smooth curves of their young bodies entwined as they become one!   Rippling waves of muscles dancing across their nubile forms as they grapple passionately!  I tell you, it’s unthinkable what they do.
Unless Jack Chick has steered me wrong, or is exaggerating in some way, this gay marriage thing absolutely spells the end of civilization, just like it always has.  God will have his revenge!  For He is a jealous God, He says so Himself!  And He reminds you numerous times!  And He is always prepared to wipe out mankind to prove a point.
So get straight with our loving God!  Or He'll fucking kill you!

Read more feralboy12 at Killed By Fish.

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About Me

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I am the Ken doll you left outside in 1983. I have been living on cat food and squirrels, coming out mostly at night, unable to wash or even change my clothes because they are permanently sewn on. I ask you, would a merciful God allow this? I just wish I could wipe this stupid grin off my idiot face.