Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Creation Science Fair: Suggested Projects

The Twin Cities Creation Science Assocation recently held their annual Home School Science Fair in Roseville, Minnesota.  This is a great idea, and I would like to help out our budding young creation scientists with a few ideas for projects for next year's fair.

Biblical Ant Farm: The ant farm is always a winner, in any science fair. People just love to watch our little four-legged friends bustling about in their underground lair.

Vengeful Volcano: Another science fair staple, the creationist version would be responsive to commands of its creator, i.e. you. At your command, this wonderful project would belch ersatz "lava" all over the fair's judges, spectators and participants in retaliation for horrible things they did in the past that you can specify later. If necessary, distant ancestors of your victims can be blamed.

Display Showing The Gaps In The Fossil Record: Since nothing is in the gaps, proving evolution wrong, your display will contain nothing. A brilliant riposte to the Darwinists! You will be hailed as a genius! Note: this would be an especially good last-minute project.

Experiment Proving The Effectiveness of Prayer: Set up an experiment in which you flip a coin 1000 times while praying with all your might that it turns up "heads." If it turns up "heads" more often than "tails," this is strong evidence that your prayer worked. If any other result occurs, this is strong evidence that your prayer worked.

Irreducible Complexity: Take a really complicated piece of machinery and break off an important part. Note that it doesn't work anymore. Pull the head off a bug. Note the similar result. Option: wave hands in the air while speaking.

The Watchmaker: Show the difference between design and nature by displaying, side by side, an expensive Swiss watch and a rock. Invite passersby to try to tell the difference and note how many are able to. This will prove that nature is not like design, which more closely resembles what we find in nature.

Experiment Showing The Validity of Internal Revelation: What you are trying to show here is that receiving wisdom in the form of personal, internal revelation is a perfectly valid way of learning about the universe. Ask volunteers to pick a number between one and one thousand. Then, run away.

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I am the Ken doll you left outside in 1983. I have been living on cat food and squirrels, coming out mostly at night, unable to wash or even change my clothes because they are permanently sewn on. I ask you, would a merciful God allow this? I just wish I could wipe this stupid grin off my idiot face.