The Power Of Prayer

Matthew 21:22

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

                            *Results not typical.

 

 

Why God Caused The Earthquake In Chile

As we know, earthquakes and other natural disasters are caused by God. He causes these tragedies, which wreak havoc and kill many people, when He is offended by the actions of the remote ancestors of those people he kills. There are many incidents of this type in the Bible; His power, wisdom, and absolute goodness enables Him to punish children for the sins of their parents and balance the scales of justice even centuries after those who angered Him are dead.

I must say I was at first befuddled when I heard that an earthquake had struck Chile last week. The quake in Haiti had obvious justification; about 200 years ago leaders of the Haitian slave revolt against France entered into a pact with the Devil, exchanging the souls of distant descendants for freedom from French rule. The voodoo rituals then and the rituals that continue today in that primitive land must anger God greatly; though remaining angry for 200 years is not a problem for God, the severity of the earthquake showed the depth of His wrath clearly to everyone who truly knows God.

But the modern country of Chile remains roughly 70 per cent Roman Catholic, which means only those voodoo rituals approved by God are practiced. Is there something else?

According to Wikipedia, Chile was settled about 12,000 years ago by migrating native Americans. This must have been the first action that angered God; since He only created the universe 6,000 years ago, He had not yet given permission to enter the land. These early settlers were obviously mocking the Creator by existing before creation, clearly defying the Holy Scripture that was eventually written.

Chile also abolished slavery in 1823, long before the rest of the Americas. Slavery is an institution granted and sanctioned by God in Old Testament law; it is not for mortal man to change those laws. The arrogance shown by those who would abolish slavery is staggering; surely, they must have been mad with power to assume such God-like control over other men's lives.

So, the earthquake is clearly a punishment, a balancing of the scales of justice, although it still remains to be seen if the death toll will be high enough.  We can only hope and pray.

Next Week: Why God Did Whatever Horrible Thing Happens This Week.

More Bible Verses For Tim Tebow

Ex. 17:10-13

“10 So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. 11 Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed; and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. 12 But Moses’ hands grew weary; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat upon it, and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; so his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. 13 And Joshua mowed down Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.”

Obviously, this verse could potentially have great meaning to a competitive athlete like Tim. It is especially relevant to an athlete like Tim who is about to move to a level of competition for which he is ill-suited. Yes, it’s true that Tim’s throwing style has problems; he brings the ball too low before throwing it and the result is a long wind-up that will give defenders more time to react. And given the size and speed of professional defensive players, and the fact that Tim runs like molasses, further limits his value to an NFL team.

But Tim’s intangibles, his leadership abilities and inspirational personality, have always been the main attraction. If he is not going to be out on the field, he could be trained and developed to be the guy who stands on the sideline holding up his hands like Moses and help his team prevail that way. And if he is not ready to take on that role right away, he could be one of the guys who stands on the sideline holding up the hands of the guy who holds up his hands.

This is worth at least a second-round draft pick, right?

Rapture Update, 2/21/10

Sadly, another week has passed and I and my fellow believers have not yet been pulled up into the sky and taken bodily into outer space without oxygen. But have faith! Rejoice, for the end is near! We shall not be unrewarded for our devotion, nor our enemies long remain unsmote!

"Wait!  I think I left the oven on!"

More Bible Verses For Tim Tebow

Deut. 23:1:

“He whose testicles are crushed or whose male member is cut off shall not enter the assembly of the LORD.”

This is a verse whose meaning has been much discussed among Theologians. There have also been many widely circulated misconceptions, but the most widely accepted modern interpretation of the original Scripture is this: Tim is allowed to play football, but he has to wear a cup.

Here’s Why: Jesus In Sports

As we well know, Jesus takes great interest in sporting events (we know this by the number of athletes who thank him for their success) and often determines the winners and losers. This series will attempt to determine which of Jesus’ miraculous abilities he uses to influence these events, based on the events documented in the New Testament.

How Jesus Causes Fumbles

There are at least two possibilities here, based on what we know: Jesus had the ability to defy gravity, based on his ascent into heaven after the resurrection. It’s possible that this was the same ability he used when he walked on water, although it’s also possible that he increased the surface tension of that water to prevent sinking, and walked on the water like bugs do. This ability, granted by God, would be given to another person or an object (thus explaining how Noah’s Ark could fit two of every animal on board a single ship; most of the creatures simply walked alongside the ark). This particular magic is also how Jesus rolled the stone away that sealed his tomb.

So I imagine one good way to cause a fumble would be to cause the ball to suddenly become weightless and fly out of the ball-carrier’s hands, at which point it becomes subject to gravity again and hits the ground.

Jesus also had the ability to change objects into loaves of bread. Not even the most seasoned professional athlete could hold onto a ball when it changes into a loaf of bread and back again.

It would not show up on replay because cameras are the imperfect creations of man; also, interventions by Jesus are by definition Judgment calls, and any NFL fan can tell you that those are not subject to replay.

Next week: Why Jesus hated Joe Theismann.

John Frum Day? That’s Just Silly

Tomorrow is February 15, known as “John Frum Day” to the natives of Tanna Island in the Republic of Vanuatu in the South Pacific. A primitive tribal society, one of the last remaining “cargo cults,” these people are desperately in need of some good Christian missionary work.

Apparently, sometime in the 1930’s one of the natives was granted a vision of an American named John Frum, who lives in a volcano on the island and promised a future of wealth and prosperity. Then, during World War II, the island was set upon by American soldiers, who built airstrips, marched around with guns and brought food and other items down from the sky.

To this day, many of these natives await the promised return of John Frum and the coming Age of Abundance. And on February 15, these primitives paint “USA” on their chests, march around with bamboo “rifles,” build airstrips and bamboo towers, and attempt to communicate with their gods through coconut shell “headsets.”

Just imagine: a whole society built around the worship of an imaginary person hiding in an inaccessible place, promising to return at some uncertain future date and bring otherworldly wealth and happiness, all started by a magical “vision” and spurred on by superstitious misinterpretations of perfectly explainable events. And pretending to communicate with supernatural beings while wearing ridiculous stuff on their heads!


Next thing you know, they’ll be practicing some sort of symbolic cannibalism or treating old bits of cloth as sacred relics.